I'd wear matching sweaters with you
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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