i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
