Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
