i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
