I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
