Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize