i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
