Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
