forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
