who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
