I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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