how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Still dying that you shit outside
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
