I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
