Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
MIDGETS
????
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
