You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
