YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ketchup is God's man juice
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
