She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize