WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Someone signed my nipple.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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