Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize