Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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