Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
