every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize