id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
