All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
