Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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