Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
