He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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