Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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