Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
where are you?
Hypothermia
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
