after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
