It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize