just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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