before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We need to get me chipped asap
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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