If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
