it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
