Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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