I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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