when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize