I'm pants shitting drunk right now
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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