Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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