his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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