i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
