Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
