I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
