Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
