Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize