Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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