Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
