I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
