dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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