He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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