I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
