In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
