so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
