i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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