Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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