Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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