In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize