he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
