remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
