Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
