I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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