Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
