My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
