So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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