Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I need to align my fucking chakras
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
