But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
