he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
