He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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