I heard we made out
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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