the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
