oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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