we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
