shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize