Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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