You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
