just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He better not be in your backpack
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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