Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
