I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
