I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
