my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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