I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
